Support Without “The Spotlight”

One of the quiet benefits of being an elite athlete is the people that will surround you. We hear often that our teammates become family. We don’t often hear how the athletes from other sports do too. They are the people you eat with, rehab next to, and trade stories with. You learn about their struggles on and off the court.

You also learn who shows up for them, and who doesn’t.

I didn’t understand the important job of a sports parent until after my own career was over. I was at a University of Texas Hall of Fame banquet, and one of the former Women’s Basketball players was being inducted. While listening to the honoree’s father describe a moment when he debated making the long drive from Houston for a game, I learned something that would change me. One of his kids said, “She’s not getting much playing time. Maybe we don’t need to go.”

His response has stuck with me ever since:

“If she’s not getting playing time, then it’s even more important that we show up. Get in the car.”

That one line makes the role of a sports parent crystal clear.

Her performance wasn’t for him. Her minutes weren’t for his entertainment. Her success or struggle wasn’t his identity. His job was to show up and support her. That’s it.

Every athlete goes through tough stretches: Lack of playing time. Skill development that feels slow. Pressure that gets in their head. Team chemistry that isn’t clicking.

No matter what the struggle is, our role is to be steady support in the face of it.

Let the sport do its job. Let your athlete learn what they need to learn. But make sure they never have to wonder if you’ll show up, even on the days when nothing is going their way.

Especially on those days.