Trust in the Struggle: A Parent’s Role in Youth Sports

When our kids are little, we hold them close. We steady their steps, tie their shoes, and protect them from the big, hard edges of the world. But as they grow, it no longer makes sense to keep holding on so tightly. Parenting becomes a slow release. Youth sports give us a place to practice that release, often in ways that are uncomfortable but necessary.

Struggle is built into sports. If your child plays, they will meet it. I promise. Sometimes the challenge is physical, like mastering new skills or finding the stamina to keep going when their body feels tired. Sometimes it is mental, like learning how to focus, control nerves on game day, or accept a role that does not match what they hoped for. And often, the struggle is social—figuring out how to belong on a team, how to handle conflict with peers, or how to take feedback from a coach who pushes them in ways we as parents cannot.

Each of these challenges can feel overwhelming in the moment, for both the athlete and the parent watching from the sideline. Our instinct is to soften the blow, to jump in and smooth out the rough edges. But here’s the hard truth: if we rescue them every time, we rob them of the very thing they need most. Growth.

When kids are allowed to wrestle with struggle, they begin to build strength and resilience from the inside out. They gain confidence not because we told them they were capable, but because they discovered it themselves through experience. That confidence (earned, not given) becomes the foundation they will stand on for years to come.

Letting go in these moments does not mean we love them less. It means we trust them more. And with every small release, we give our children the chance to discover just how capable they really are.