Choosing the Right Team: A Parent’s Guide

It’s that time of year again. The group texts are lighting up, tryout dates are being shared like wildfire, and the questions are swirling: Who’s going where? Which coach is staying? What’s the best team for next season?

Before the decision-making whirlwind sweeps you up, let’s slow it down. Choosing the right team for your child isn’t just about skill level, wins, or name recognition. It’s about fit. It’s about finding a space where your child can grow, feel safe, be challenged, and most importantly, have some fun!

As a parent of two teenage athletes and a lifelong competitor myself, I’ve stood on the sidelines asking these same questions. Over the years, I’ve learned that the right team doesn’t always come with the flashiest gear or the biggest tournament schedule. It’s the one where your kid lights up on the car ride home. It’s the coach who knows their name, their strengths, and how to encourage them without pushing too hard.

Here are some questions I come back to. These help guide our family conversations every tryout season:

1. Does the club playing time philosophy align with your family’s values?

Distributing playing time fairly is a top priority for most parents and athletes. But “fair” doesn’t always mean equal. What matters most is understanding the club and coach’s philosophy up front. How is playing time earned? Are development and contribution prioritized, or is performance king?

2. Does the coach focus on teaching and developing kids?

The best coaches are educators. They use mistakes as teachable moments, know how to stretch athletes without breaking them, and create an environment where learning comes first.

3. Do you like the team culture?

You can feel it. Some teams are tight-knit and uplifting. Others are competitive to the point of stress. Talk to other parents. Watch a practice. Trust your gut.

4. Will this team support my child as a whole being?

Children are more than athletes. They need rest, freedom to explore other interests, and space to just be kids. Look for organizations that understand that.

5. Is my child excited to be there?

Not just willing, but excited. Their voice matters most. What are they hoping for this season? What kind of coach motivates them? What kind of team makes them feel like they belong?

I know it’s tempting to chase prestige or follow the crowd. But this isn’t just about the next season. It’s about building a foundation for long-term confidence, relationships, and love for the game.

Tryout season may feel fast and furious, but the impact of your choice will echo long after rosters are posted. My advice? Choose the team that sees your child as a person first and an athlete second. Choose the coach who wants to develop people, not just players. And most of all, make the choice that brings your child joy.

Because at the end of the day, it’s not about making the “best” team. It’s about finding the right one.