Supporting Your Bench Player

As sports parents, we’ve all been there. The excitement of the game is electric, but your child is sitting on the bench. Their role looks a little different today, and as a parent, you are left wondering how best to support them. It’s easy to feel conflicted when your athlete is not in the starting lineup, but the way you respond during this time can make all the difference in their attitude toward the game and their overall growth as a player.

So, what is the best way to support that young athlete?

Check In: Understand Their Perspective

You might be surprised to learn that your child does not feel the same way about their role as you do. It’s important to approach the situation from their perspective, not your own. As parents, it’s natural to feel upset or disappointed for our kids, especially when we see them working hard without getting the immediate recognition they deserve. But remember, while your emotions are valid, they are also shaped by your personal history and expectations.

Take a moment to check in with your child. Open the door for honest conversation and ask how they feel about being on the bench. Are they frustrated, motivated, indifferent, or maybe relieved to have the chance to learn from the sidelines? The goal is to listen and really hear what they have to say, without projecting your own feelings onto them.

Flip the Script: Bench Players Are Growing Players

It’s tempting to think of a bench player as someone who has failed to earn their spot on the field, court, or rink. And failing is no fun! But try flipping the script. Being on the bench is not a failure. It’s an opportunity for growth. Athletes in this position can learn from experienced teammates, observe strategies in action, and develop a deeper understanding of the game. They might even benefit more from this experience than if they were starting on a less competitive team.

Bench players also serve a vital role. They contribute to team culture, bring energy, offer encouragement, and sometimes provide valuable feedback. Coaches and teammates rely on them, both in practice and in games. The bench is not a place of failure. It is a place of preparation, learning, and team contribution.

Applaud Their Contribution: Recognize the Value of the Role

When you understand the important role a bench player holds, it becomes easier to see and appreciate all the ways they contribute to the team. It may seem like your child is just watching from the sidelines, but they are a key part of the team’s success. Whether they are cheering on teammates, offering insights, or setting the tone in practice, their contributions matter.

Celebrate the role your child plays! Let them know their effort, attitude, and dedication do not go unnoticed. Simple comments like, “I saw how you kept cheering for your teammates. That energy really helps the team,” or “I noticed how focused you were in practice today. That is how athletes grow,” can have a big impact.

Encourage Patience and Resilience

It’s also important to encourage patience and resilience. Being on the bench is rarely a permanent role. Sports are dynamic, and opportunities can appear at any moment. By staying positive, working hard, and focusing on what they can control, your athlete will be ready when their moment comes.

Remind your child that all athletes face challenges and setbacks at some point in their journey. Help them see this experience as part of their growth. Encourage them to stay committed to their work ethic, attitude, and role as a great teammate.

Wrapping It Up

It can be hard for any athlete to find themselves on the bench, but it is also an important part of the journey. You have the chance to support your child in ways that will build their resilience, character, and love of the game.

By checking in with them, flipping the script about what it means to be on the bench, recognizing their contributions, and helping them build patience and resilience, you are giving your child tools that will help them thrive not just in sports, but in life.

So, the next time your athlete finds themselves on the bench, remember that it is just one step in their path. With your support, they will come out of this experience stronger, wiser, and more prepared for whatever comes next.